NOISE? CAMP! / Reflections

I'll like to thank God for allowing me to be able to go for this camp, cause I do believe I've come out as a different person in all.

Few things I'll like to share:
1. The way God speaks to me (THIS IS REALLY INTERESTING BTW! Hehe, personal favorite!)
2. SK2 breakthrough!
3. Reflections

First up, The way God spoke to me.

It all started in day one, when I had a very heavy heart during prayer sessions, like those times when we build up spiritual atmosphere by speaking in tongues during worship intervals. There was this very intense heaviness and "burning" feeling on my heart (literally).

So I was rather confused, because I've never had such a feeling, and thus I don't know what to do! I even questioned if it was from God or not.

The second night, while responding to the altercall, there was a very strong pain. It was like burning fire on my heart and it was like something weighing me down very badly.

The many prayers after that had to do a lot with "Let Jesus' love come in and shine through you" and the word "heart" was emphasized a lot.

Somehow, that ministered to me, but the pain didn't go away.

Moving on, on the third day of camp, I was doing QT and I was reading Psalms 27, my first ever Rhema word. And that's when verse 10 hit me:

10 Though my father and mother forsake me,
the LORD will receive me.

I was wondering why that did hit me, because my relationship with my parents have been rather strong and we don't really get into unresolved big fights. My relationship with them has been good in that sense.

Weirder thing was this, I kind of had the impression I was standing and addressing a crowd.

Third night came and the pain didn't go away. It was worrying me. So I decided to pluck up some courage and ask SP what he thought it was. He asked me if it was possibly a burden for people or a prayer item, but I really couldn't answer him.

Then he said that it was possibly a prophetic burden placed within. That hit me.

He went on to elaborate that the early prophets had that same feeling, same burden when they had a message from God that they needed to speak.

I carried that thought along with me.

I believe that it was the day 4 that something started stirring form within. When we were asked to give testimonies to what God was doing in our lives during camp, I kinda wanted to go up and release the verse, and also celebrate breakthrough for SK2 (which I will elaborate later). But due to myself chickening out (hehe!), I didn't.

But at the end of Pastor Andrew's last sermon, I knew I had to release it. He even gave an example of him missing out on God using him because he chose to chicken out! So I was like; OKAY GOD, I HEAR YOU, I'LL RELEASE THE WORD OKAY!

And it tied in very well, because his message was a lot our identity in Christ Himself: being daughters and sons of the Most High.

I did pluck up courage to go up to find Pastor Chye Aik, and I shared with him what I felt was impressed on me. I remember asking him to help me address this to the crowd, cause I didn't want to disrupt the service, and also I didn't dare to believe that the impression of me addressing a crowd would come to pass. But instead, he gave me the opportunity to go up on stage to do so!

At this point, I'm like - WOW.

So with trembling knees and a tensed up body, I went to boldly release Psalsms 27:10 and I somehow found myself naturally asking if I could pray for Megalifers from broken families.

After that, I felt weird, but the burden on my heart was lifted. What was left on my mind was "okay, so did my prayer get through to people?". That thought eventually faded into the wind after a while.

When I got back to church, Aunty Sarah and Aunty Jenny both affirmed that what was released was also very heavy on their hearts, and that it was very timely. So, I was really encouraged by that!

I also went up to thank SP for giving me advice too! :)

So yeah! God didn't really speak to me personally this camp, but it was really an interesting experience to be used in such a manner! I'm sure that this is of many words to come, because right now, I've still got that feeling on my heart, although it is less intense. I'll be definitely praying and seeking more on what exactly I need to release/pray/receive!

All glory back to God!

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2. I'm very happy to say that SK2 has grown through this camp.

Through the discussion after the experiential workshop, the guys and girls split into two groups.

We had a much deeper form of sharing and the guys were able to accept one another's views and desires for cell.

Joshua and I pointed out from a leader's perspective that cell hasn't really been a place that lifted God's name on high and neither did it serve as a place of community. We were very open with them, pointing out certain postures and attitudes individuals had during worship sessions that really failed to glorify God.

Followed by that, most of the guys agreed that cell could be more than what they had been experiencing. But Joshua and I came up with the point that cell must be owned by them; that they have to take responsibility over it.

How far cell will or would go is really based on how much each individual puts in.

This key principle was pointed out very strongly and the guys took it in like a sour pill. A good wake up call, nevertheless.

We then gathered around in a circle and got into a high knee position to pray. The highknee was pointed out by Josh that was something that real men do when it came to being serious (or something along that lines, pardon me for not being clear here).

And I believe that the guys got out of that prayer session changed.

It was a prayer session that I myself never experienced before.

I started out in prayer that "if you want it, pray it".

The guys started praying heartfelt prayers for our cell, they asked for forgiveness for their poor behaviors and they wanted to be agents of change.

I can vaguely remember closing the 5 min long prayer with something close to a pledge:

We the brotherhood of SK2 refuse to be bystanders,

We refuse to let our cell be satisfied with where it is,

We choose this day to be agents of change,

...

And I guess it did get through to us all, because real men teared at the end of the prayers.

I'm proud of my guys, I truly am. And I believe that this particular session will be ingrained inside our hearts for a long time.

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Reflections wise, I learnt a lot more about myself.

I realized that I am indeed a very domineering person, because I was being the more prominent domain leader of Resonance. I kinda feel bad now that I was coming out more than Sora. I guess I've still got a lot to learn when it comes to teamwork, and how each of us deserve to have more air time.

I also realized that I myself need to grow when it comes to being patient. God gave me my first Rhema word, Psalms 27, on the 20th July, 2009.

It was the last part that spoke to me more than ever.

13 I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.

14 Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

Waiting. That has never been one of my strong point. And truthfully, asking for patience is indeed an irony. Character has to be molded into us through our everyday lives and choices, and patience grows with making better choices.

Yep! So I'm looking forward to my future self! To become a patient young man who knows how to give in to others even though power and dominance is something I find myself craving for at times.

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A long post, yes I know, but hopefully, this makes up for the LOOOOOOOOONG time that I haven't been posting!